Day Forty-Six/Transcript
Session Start (Wackd:#tvtropesdoctorwho): Sat Jan 24 10:46:41 2015 -0500 10:54 <@Wackd> Hey Bocaj! 10:55 hey 11:01 <@Wackd> Hey T. Hey unnoun. 11:03 <@Wackd> So! Where were we? 11:04 Chan the tardis had been removed from a giant person and we were stuck behind and possibly about to be scanned serv 11:04 <@Wackd> tvtropesdoctorwho.wikia.com/wiki/Fluid/Text#Day_Forty-Five 11:04 Chan Unless I forgot some of the ending details serve 11:05 <@Wackd> Nah, you're spot on. 11:05 I'll need to leave an extra hour earlier today. So 3:30. Sorry. My boss actually asked for two hours early. 11:05 <@Wackd> Understood. Let's get to it. 11:08 ("A bright light engulfed them, and they began to be lifted up out of what was now more clearly some sort of internal organ. ") 11:10 "Doesn't the TARDIS have a setting to not land inside of someone? I'm getting shivers just thinking about that now" 11:14 "She also has settings to not break into other universes or collide with herself. But it happens." 11:16 "This is the worst adventure." 11:18 "Ever." 11:19 "Even worse than we got stuck in the universe's longest queue for a week?" 11:21 <@Wackd> As they were lifted out they could see, faintly, through the light, the face of the surgeon--fairly reptilian, with lavender scales and a frill around the neck. And he, too, appeared to be examining them, with the four grey eyes aligned in a diamond about his forehead. Slowly, he swiveled the beam, and dropped the three onto a metal pan on a nearby table. 11:27 Zinnia laughed nervously. "I was voted 'most likely to be a foreign contaminent in school. I thought it was just a bit of cruelty at the time." 11:29 (ugh other ' goes after contaminent) 11:31 "Hello, I don't suppose you can hear us up there?" 11:32 <@Wackd> The tractor beam switched off, leaving the three face to face with the surgeon. His eyes began to swivel oddly in their sockets. "Hm. Oddly complex for life forms of your size. Presence of artificial skins implies sapience, at least, that or some very bizarre dermal functions. DEFINITELY not naturally occurring. So the question is how did you get in there?" 11:33 "Navigational fault, I assume. Also probably scale control fault." 11:34 "I'm usually three and a quarter varics tall!" 11:38 (And people played by Jenna Coleman are still not quite that tiny.) 11:38 <@Wackd> The surgeon cocked his head. "Are you...speaking? Speaking treian?" His eyes drifted apart slightly. "Right then. I'm going to go fetch a microphone. You three, if you can understand me, stay put." The surgeon rushed out of the room. 11:42 "I guess... we're going to be a marvel of science" 11:45 (We are not of course in scarpering distance of the TARDIS or anything, right?) 11:46 <@Wackd> The TARDIS could be spotted on another table across the room. 11:54 "Why couldn't it be in the decontamination tray with us?" 11:57 "Already been decontaminated? Moved to 'evidence' tray?" 12:12 <@Wackd> A loud hissing sound could be heard as steam began to emanate from the surgical hole in the large, sedated man to their left. 12:14 "I have a sneaking suspicion that's not normal." 12:15 <@Wackd> As if to confirm this suspicion, the large medical computer to the man's left began to make a loud, repetitive beeping sound. Within seconds, a thunder of footsteps could be heard approaching the room. 12:17 "Oh god the doctor left without closing the president up? That's... probably malpractice" 12:17 "We distracted him. Though I did think he'd be back by now." 12:18 <@Wackd> (I mean, I don't think this is happening in real time, if only because how long it takes for conversations to happen, though I suppose finding a microphone in a hospital might prove difficult.) 12:23 <@Wackd> Within moments, three doctors--one of whom had a voice the group might find familiar--had rushed into the room and immediately began examining the body. After a few frenzied moments of passing around equipment and taking readings the room fell still. One of the doctors called it. "Emperor Odg'n Ro is dead. Twenty-five hundred hours." 12:24 "Oh this is not going to end well" 12:26 <@Wackd> Immediately the three doctors turned to face the group. "What are those things?" "Did they just speak?" "I knew it!" cried the one with the familiar voice. "Assassins!" 12:27 ",,,We're not the ones that left the emperor while he had a hole in his chest." 12:27 (Dangit I didn't think those were commas.) 12:28 (Also, yay, we killed an emperor!) 12:29 (It was bound to happen eventually) 12:31 <@Wackd> The original surgeon rushed back in carrying a megaphone. "Ohgodohgodohgodohgod--" he stopped, panting, and looked up to see the doctors crowding around the dead emperor. His eyes slid downwards. "I can explain. It's not my fault. These creatures--" 12:33 ("Oh dick move, brah") 12:36 <@Wackd> "What the hell is wrong with you two? Even if they did somehow slip into the Emperor's body to kill him, they couldn't have forced Dr. Bihr to leave the room while the Emperor's cirtsag hanging open," said one of them. Xe paused. "Could they?" 12:37 "I would think assassins with the power to force a surgeon to go get something wouldn't have a need for internal sabot-ah." 12:39 "I'm surprised that a patient of such important only had one doctor in the room. This hospital needs to work on its standards" 12:39 <@Wackd> "Yes they could!" stammered Dr. Bihr. "They teleported inside my mind and...melded with it, somehow. Controlled it. I could...see their thoughts, as they influenced mine. Their plan was...to get themselves extracted...and distract us long enough for the Emperor to technically die of natural causes." ... 12:39 <@Wackd> He cleared his throat and straightened his jacket. "Science be damned, we need to destroy them immediately." 12:40 "No no, that doesn't make sense! If we can mere with minds than why aren't we doing it now? If we can teleport why would we hang around in a tray?" 12:40 "You'd think an Emperor's surgeon would know the difference between 'natural causes' and 'criminal malpractice'." 12:43 <@Wackd> The other two scientists stared at him as the one with the familiar voice came to his side. "Makes sense to me. Get the medical disposal unit fired up." "My god," said the fourth, who thus far hadn't said anything. "You two are INSANE." 12:45 "Here's an idea, let the shrunken accused tell the truth, and decide who's telling a pathetic lie." 12:50 <@Wackd> "I mean, look at these things. They're at best six feet high. I doubt they're capable of cognizant thought, let alone controlling someone else's mind. The simple explanation is that the Emperor took a secret trip off-world, picked up some sort of bug, and then you committed malpractice like the shitty excuse for a surgeon you've always been." 12:51 "...Nevermind on the shrunken, then." 12:52 "Ah good, no scale issues to resolve." 12:52 "Also, how do they know what a foot is? Or a second? If it's the TARDIS, why isn't it just letting them understand us?" 12:53 "It's translation, not amplification." 12:53 <@Wackd> The fourth picked up the tractor and once again lifted the group. "I'm taking these to the bio lab for study. And you, Dr. Bihr, no longer have your great-uncle to protect you. In fact, if anyone had something to gain from an assassination attempt...well, I suggest you pack your locker, sit tight, and pray the authorities are merciful." 12:54 "You don't want to study the box too or anything?" 12:57 <@Wackd> The third doctor grabbed the TARDIS and handed it over to the fourth. "Thank you, Dr. Uytr. Do see that these two make it to the authorities. Bihr, Gatred--it hasn't been pleasant." And with that the doctor left the operating room and began to walk the four down the hall. 13:17 <@Wackd> The doctor walked in silence before finally coming to the bio lab door. Xe flicked on the lights and opened up four large glass tanks, dropping the TARDIS, Ellie, Zinnia, and the Doctor each into their own, closing each lid securely, and leaving. 13:24 After some time, Zinnia says "Anyone want to play charades?" 13:26 Ellie couldn't hear her. 13:27 Because sealed glass tank. 13:28 <@Wackd> (Is glass inherently sound-proof?) 13:29 (Not sound-proof, but it definitely doesn't carry it very well. Ever had to roll down a window on a car to talk to someone?) 13:30 <@Wackd> (True. Still, it should be at worst kinda muffled.) 13:30 (How far are the tanks from each other?) 13:30 "Pictionary maybe?" Zinnia sighed and sat down 13:31 <@Wackd> (Like right next to each other.) 13:36 (Does Jenna Coleman sing?) 13:37 "MAYBE TRY SHOUTING?" 13:37 (She sang hungry like the wolf once? Sang-spoke) 13:37 "HELLO" 13:38 "I HAD SOME VERY SHOUTY FRIENDS FOR A WHILE. THEY'D LOVE THIS." 13:38 "WELL ACTUALLY THEY WOULDN'T, BUT YOU GET MY MEANING." 13:39 Ellie asked the Doctor, in universal sign language, "Can me or Zinnia shatter this glass with our voices?" 13:41 Ellie paused, then facepalmed, then asked, "...Or using the bloody Sonic?" 13:42 "You know, I've broken some glass with my voice in my time. Haven't practiced in a few centuries. Or the sonic, yes." 13:44 The Doctor activated the sonic screwdriver, modulating the frequency to find the glass's resonance. 13:46 <@Wackd> It shattered, bringing a good deal of broken glass down on top of him and leaving him with a fairly troubling amount of large cuts across his body, many of which began to bleed. 13:48 "Are you okay?" 13:48 "Probably. Wouldn't recommend it though." 13:49 "Maybe you can open the lids now? 13:49 " 13:50 "If we escape, are we going to implicate ourselves and let whatshisface off the hook?" 13:50 "Better question: Do we care?" 13:51 (How tall are these cases?) 13:51 <@Wackd> (About ten feet high.) 13:51 "We could get to the TARDIS and use her systems to amplify our voices, then wait and give our story." 13:53 Ellie put her head down and covered herself with her arms. "Just shatter the next one, climbing would be too difficult." 13:53 (Also, they just dropped us in these?) 13:54 <@Wackd> (Yeah, the fall couldn't have been too comfortable, but let's say the tractor beam slowed you down some.) 14:03 The Doctor shattered the case holding the TARDIS. 14:05 "WHAT ABOUT US!?" 14:06 "Should I rain glass shards on you, or try to pick you up with the TARDIS? 14:06 " 14:06 " 14:07 "YOU CAN BARELY DRIVE THAT THING! I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES!" 14:08 "I'll chance the TARDIS over glass shards personally..." 14:08 (Wait, aren't we still in the isolation suits?) 14:08 (Wack'd, did you forget?) 14:11 <@Wackd> (Glass is SHARP.) 14:11 <@Wackd> (The suits are there for biological contaminents, not physical impediments.) 14:11 (You did forget though, didn't you.) 14:11 <@Wackd> (I did not!) 14:12 (Last thing I saw was "you can barely drive that thing") 14:12 <@Wackd> 14:08 "I'll chance the TARDIS over glass shards personally..."14:08 (Wait, aren't we still in the isolation suits?)14:08 (Wack'd, did you forget?)14:10 *** TParadox has quit IRC: Ping timeout: 250 seconds14:11 <@Wackd> (Glass is SHARP.) 14:12 (In fairness, containment suits getting rips and then becoming pointless is a common trope.) 14:13 (If they were puncture resistant, containment resistant and comfortable and flexible then why wouldn't you wear one at ALL TIMES?) 14:13 (They'd probably lure sand worms though) 14:14 <@Wackd> (I personally wouldn't wear one at all times because I hate being able to feel my own breath back against my face.) 14:18 <@Wackd> (So, can we resume?) 14:18 The Doctor raised the screwdriver. "Then are you ready?" 14:20 Ellie ducked her head down and covered herself with her arms. 14:23 The Doctor shattered her box. 14:24 <@Wackd> She, too, would now have multiple shards of glass lodged in her and any number of bleeding cuts. 14:26 Ellie groaned. She carefully started walking to the TARDIS. "If anyone needs me I'll be in the med bay." 14:27 Ellie snapped her fingers to open the door and headed inside. 14:28 "I still think the TARDIS was the better idea." The Doctor went to the TARDIS himself. "Zinnia, you still want to try it?" 14:28 *try it that way?" 14:30 "Yes, I'm not fond of multiple impalement" 14:32 (I'm pretty sure wings have a lot of blood vessels in them.) 14:32 (Like, basically all the blood vessels.) 14:32 (Damage to wings is typically not good for birds.) 14:33 (Humans sometimes have to live through raining glass. Like with earthquakes and things.) 14:33 <@Wackd> (Well, in fairness, Zinnia is not from Earth and might not fit into the bird classification thingy as we know it.) 14:33 (Keep head down, cover yourself with arms.) 14:34 <@Wackd> (Certainly I wouldn't kill Zinnia off should her character have decided to go for glass-shattering.) 14:34 The Doctor went to the controls and used visual targeting to lock onto Zinnia's exact location and materialize around her. 14:38 <@Wackd> This worked, though from the outside it appeared the TARDIS had cut a perfectly-shaped hole in the top of her container and was now protruding from it. 14:39 (It's more than ten feet tall?) 14:39 <@Wackd> (The TARDIS? I think so.) 14:40 <@Wackd> (Okay, it's not. Thanks, Google. Forget I said that.) 14:40 (...How did it get put into a glass tank then?) 14:41 <@Wackd> (Its tank would've been higher.) 14:43 The Doctor returned the TARDIS to its previous location and set to work tying the phone handset into something that could function as a loudspeaker. 14:56 "Welcome aboard, by the way. Ellie might need help in the medbay." 14:58 "I'll go check on her" 14:58 Zinnia left the console room for the medbay 15:04 The Doctor tested the loudspeaker system. "Check, check, Brobdingnangian Biscuit tins." 15:05 <@Wackd> The sound was projected loud and clear into the room. 15:05 The Doctor drew the handset to the door and stood to wait. 15:11 <@Wackd> It would be a long wait. Most of the relevant parties were, after all, under investigation. After some time, however, two rather imposing members of this race wearing full-body armor knocked the door open and approached the TARDIS. "This was the foreign contaminent? It looks like someone shrunk my kid's lunch box," one said. 15:14 "Hello there. Can I tell our side of the story now?" 15:15 <@Wackd> The two jumped back. "Aporgap! It speaks!" cried one of them. 15:18 "We've been trying to talk for a while now, but we were too small for you folks to hear." 15:19 <@Wackd> "What...what are you?" asked another. It was reaching for its sidearm. 15:26 "Travellers. Had a navigational fault and unfortunately ended up inside your emperor. When your surgeon pulled us out he was rather distracted by us, and we were rather distracted by trying to talk to him, and everyone kind of forgot about closing him up. Then Bihr came up with some cockamamie nonsense about us using mind control." 15:27 "Sorry about the mess in here, and very sorry about the Emperor." 15:30 <@Wackd> "Yes, we've heard Odg'n Bihr's side of the story. We honestly thought he and the rest had made you up to cover his tracks." The other guard scowled. "You'd better be sorry. You'd be sick not to be." 15:35 "As far as we know, he didn't plan anything. He's just a bad surgeon and a bad liar." 15:38 <@Wackd> "It doesn't matter what he did or didn't plan. He let the Emperor die, and since the new laws hadn't come into effect yet, every doctor responsible for his personal care is going to be facing life imprisonment." 15:44 (Um. 3:45.) 15:44 <@Wackd> (It sure is. TParadox? You gonna be late for work? 15:45 (I'm getting ready right now.) 15:47 "He tried to have worse done to us, so I don't feel too sorry for him. Though the others probably." 15:48 <@Wackd> "You should feel sorry for this entire nation. You have no idea the chain of events you've triggered." 15:50 "Again, total accident." 15:50 (I'm going now.) 15:50 <@Wackd> (Alright. I guess that's it. Later, folks.) 16:00 ((TTFN) 16:05 (later) 16:05 <@Wackd> (Later!) Session Close (#tvtropesdoctorwho): Sat Jan 24 16:05:41 2015 -0500